| (no subject) |
[Sep. 2nd, 2008|08:10 pm] |
| [ | melody |
| | Mates of State - Nature and the Wreck | ] |
I fucking hate stupid people.
I hate 4chan. Lucky those people are so moronic or I'm sure they wouldn't be able to tolerate themselves.
What the hell is up with people taking pictures of themselves from weird angles and leaving retarded comments?
What is it with these goddamn social expectations? Even the "new people" apparently can't comprehend somebody not having a myspace account.
Society is cruel and quick to judge and we have been conditioned to fear expression of our true selves. You can shut them up with intelligence and reasoning but you can never change their minds or their ways. I don't know how I'm going to survive on this planet if I don't shut it out and close myself off from it.
It's so annoying when people obsess over things. So weak... how can anyone live like that constantly?
What's the deal with awkward people...
...Expressing this in words is fairly difficult.
I was going to go to Otakon but I decided against it.
This is my Leon costume:
I'm still growing my hair out for it.
Maybe it's better that I didn't go. The people there would probably piss me off. Most people this age who are into anime and that sort of thing are really annoying.
I wish I could not be around people who have all these stupid expectations of me and ask these stupid questions all the time.
And I wish I could stop letting myself down. And play the piano better.
Intelligence is such a rare quality. I've known maybe two smart people my entire life, and one of them isn't smart anymore.
I want to hang out with an alright person.
Damn it... |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 6th, 2008|05:00 am] |
In sadness, I was always a bit smarter.
Ignorance is indeed bliss, as bliss is indeed ignorance.
Today, I am devoid of such things.
Today, I am consumed by hatred.
I show no sign of discontent; I make no effort to change.
To believe in anything other than yourself is to accept that you are weak.
Today, I believe in nothing.
To put faith into gods and stars is to accept that there are things far beyond your own reach.
Today, I make no wishes.
Feelings are merely your body telling you what it thinks is best; primitive urges.
Today, I feel nothing.
To act on feelings is to live through your body and not your mind.
You are not your hands. You are not your face. You are not your body.
You are a non-physical entity which interacts with a physical world through a mere vessel.
Today, people live through their bodies and their feelings.
I will never become caught up in such petty matters.
Today, I regret nothing.
To regret is to waste time on time wasted.
In that, I am able to accept whatever may come.
In that, I am able to remain unfazed.
All things come to an end.
And I, myself, have come to terms.
Be your true mind. I'll be my true mind. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 29th, 2008|03:54 pm] |
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Everything [and everyone has been in my thoughts of late and they all piss me off] |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 4th, 2008|11:35 am] |
Casually look at my hand I am so bored forever
I wonder, do I have a soul?
And I wonder do the people I know have souls and how that may correlate to the kind of things a person can and cannot do
Like how I can't really feel anything or express myself, and that would probably mean something, but there are far too many other things to take into account.
One shouldn't read too much into anything I say
I'll be 19 pretty soon.
It's astounding how much of my life I've wasted.
I'll be spending my birthday in Florida. Because my cousin is getting married.
I wonder if it's selfish to feel unobligated to attend because of my birthday. Well, I don't want to wear something nice and I don't want to go to a wedding and I don't want to do it all for some fakeass reason like, "It's for some family that I don't even really know"
But I have no say in anything really, so of course, I'll be going~
How boring
At least.. eventually, nobody will have a say in anything I do
I want a soda |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 22nd, 2008|05:03 am] |
I hate life. I can't play piano anymore. I can't play drums anymore. I want to play well again but I'm not motivated.
All I can do is hate. I'm so full of it. It's such a powerful thing.
My fingers hurt. I'm developing blisters. I don't want such unfeminine hands.
Maybe I'll keep my phone off today. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 18th, 2008|04:15 am] |
| [ | melody |
| | White Summer And Green Bicycle, Red Hair With Black Guitar | ] |
I got out of the shower about 30 minutes ago.
I'm tired even though I haven't been awake but 11 hours.
I dreamt of Lane last night.
My hair is long like when I met her.
I'll cut it by the end of the week. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 13th, 2008|06:25 pm] |
I feel stable.
I might be going to college sooner than planned.
I really need a haircut and I want to drink a soda and I have to call my mom but I don't want to.
I had all of yesterday and today to myself.
And, I'm making a lot of progress lately and I can't wait to disappear. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 9th, 2008|03:22 pm] |
My head hurts.
Six guys in this room is... far too many. How claustrophobic. Oh well.
Going to go eat. Then Mason is coming over again.
I need to set aside some time for myself. Sleeping, at least, would be nice. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 7th, 2008|10:52 pm] |
1. My hair is getting out of control and I need to chop it off
2. There are many delicious varieties of pudding and I would like to consume them
3. Kenny mentioned to me today, walking back from 7-11, how awkward it was going to be to go to Pearl Harbor because he is half Japanese and half American (What's half American anyway???) and I thought that was pretty funny
4. Nesquik+Pepsi tastes better than Nesquik+Coke but Coke tastes better than Pepsi
5. Can finally play Rock Band drums again tomorrow when bass pedal arrives
6. I need to finish some books but I have not had much time to myself lately
7. Want Code Geass 2 now
8. Very hungry want to eat a lot of food
9. Wish life was as simple as sleeping
10. Want a cat
11. Want to microwave a fork
12. WHY PASTA FOR DINNER EVERY NIGHT?!?!?!?!
13. Friends want to play video games all tomorrow; hate playing video games all day but oh well
14. Want blue light bulb
15. The Wonder Years was a good show and I wish it would come on TV
16. Three's Company is another good show and it should come on more often
17. Want raspberry cake
18. Eighteen is a stupid number
19. My mattress is very comfortable and I want to go lay on it |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 5th, 2008|11:31 pm] |
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My head hurts and I want to eat pudding |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2008|06:52 pm] |
Even if you leave no shape behind, you are my light.
...It still doesn't feel quite right. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2008|02:07 pm] |
| [ | melody |
| | the pillows - White Summer and Green Bicycle, Red Hair with Black Guitar | ] |
I'm such a dirty person. I'm sure I'm dirty even when I look clean. It's so barbaric.
I've lost a lot of motivation recently. I don't read as of late. I don't listen to music as of late. I don't play music as of late. I'm not even sure I'm really alive.
...I'm about to embrace my malice. I need to know exactly how moving my hate is.
Even if it's the wrong thing to do...
Thank you, my twilight. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 21st, 2008|09:07 am] |
Some people are outside digging big holes in the ground and using jackhammers.
It's very disruptive.
Life is very boring.
10 days until Smash comes out. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 13th, 2008|04:19 am] |
Not worth the effort
I don't even know why I get out of bed, I'm so tired of everything
I guess I don't have anything to write
What a mess |
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